I’d say I’m an agreeable person, but if you tell me a clothing item is “out of style” I will only wear it more.
therapist: what are you afraid of?
me: nothing
therapist: yes, the void. it will swallow us all
Everyone out here workin’ on their cores and I’m just tryna get as close as possible to the drive thru window so I don’t have to stretch.
My husband told me yesterday that his co-worker said I’m gorgeous and considering that I dreamt last night that James Hetfield asked me out, there’s a chance it went to my head.
My favorite outdoor activity is looking for shade.
*aggressively pronounces luncheon like lunch-ee-own*
Before grocery trip: only getting healthy essentials
After grocery trip: how many grams of protein are in these Doritos?
Me: If there was a fire and you could only save me or the cat, who would you save?
Her:
Me:
Her: I feel like you’ve had a good run.
Me: *excited as bird flies up to me* Aw a bird friend, hey little bird!
Bird: Sorry, I thought you were someone else.
When people ask me for something at work I say, “Sure! Let me see here..” and rummage around in my desk drawer until they leave
Imagine if Spiders could Breakdance
003: Hey
004: Hey
003: Hey
005: Hey
003: Hey
006:
003: I said Hey
006: What’s going on?– 4 Non Bonds
Me, not making eye contact: Oh shit, I’m being weird.
Me, making eye contact: Oh shit, I’m being weird.
bet the third joker movie will just be called “jok3r”