Okay so this is wild. I’m using this ticket machine in Japan and it malfunctions and doesn’t give me my change.
Suddenly, a panel in the wall opens in the wall and a guy appears and tells me to hold on and then gives me my change.
i just found this in my phone
who thought of the name? he did? okay, hang on {calls out to the cubicles} craig, can you come in here for a sec!
nooOOO now I have to dunk my phone in water!!!
Apple trying to ruin my marriage wtf
You can’t believe it’s autumn already? Please stop expressing surprise at the linear nature of time. The correct emotion is disappointment.
It’s always “you’re so cute when you’re mad,” until the house is on fire.
China has now legalised all gambling on the condition that it doesn’t make any political statement or upset public order.
Congratulations China, you are all now free to bet.
I hate it when people write tweets with the algorithm in mind. Everyone’s trying to Taylor their content to what’s popular. I’m Swift ly losing patience with this.
i’m not celebrating labor day tomorrow. i’m gonna sit on my ass
I’ve disappointed better people.
you will never catch me dying in a cave or whilst climbing Mount Everest. you know who hasn’t suffered a gruesome death far in the caverns below ground? me, because I’m in my jim-jams, reading