This 1886 photograph of a young girl trying to cut a beam of sunlight with a pair of scissors is either a wonderful testament to the boundless imagination of childhood, or a clear example of the fact that kids were just as dumb 135 years ago.
Anyone who can get the straw in the Capri Sun on the first try can make your death look like an accident.
Being a parent of multiple kids sometimes feels like being an unqualified judge in the most pointless trial you can imagine
A choir of Spring onions
It’s so hot outside, Kermit just replaced Miss Piggy’s sunscreen with honey glaze
REVOLUTION HAS BEGUN!!!
*rookie cop notices splatter on the wall*
Looks like a hotdog defended itself here and lost.
If You Take a Mom to Target:
If you take a Mom to Target, she’ll probably see a cute decorative basket in the dollar section that she likes.
Picking out that basket will remind her that she needs a bunch of stuff to put in it.
👇
I need everyone to calm down I broke into this house to pet your dog not steal him
2 wants to be a firefighter when she gets big so she can “save all da people from da pigeons and spiders.” You’re welcome.
having a drunk argument with someone over whether a sexy abraham lincoln costume would be hotter than a sexy teddy roosevelt and somehow we’re both losing
what strings did peacocks pull to be allowed to just vibe around the zoo?
“Another job replaced by automation” I lament as a tornado seamlessly delivers a newspaper to every driveway on the block
Danny in Grease: I want this car to look cool
Kenickie: sure bro
Danny: and put in a part that makes it fly
Kenickie: wait what
me: my doctor said to replace oil with applesauce to be healthier
mechanic: [looking at my car’s smoking engine] i think he just meant in food