my coworker threw a paper airplane at me and i was like “on today of all days 😟?” and she looked at me like this
fun fact: originally, Greece was just a bunch of separate countries that were each named Grooce.
only kind of dinner drama i approve of
“Do you have a flavor?”
La Croix: “I have the concept of a flavor.”
once again, i have fallen for life’s biggest scam: being two hours early for a flight only for security to take roughly seven minutes
“Square up your hips.”
“Alright.”
“Your elbows need to come up.”
“Is all this really necessary?”
“Have you seen the news?”
“No.”
“They’re coming for us, Sid.”
I have discovered a lipstick which is guaranteed to help with weight loss
It’s called Elmer’s All Purpose Glue Stick
I’m dead 😂😂😂😂😂
*looks at recipe prep time: 10 minutes*
*two hours later*
Me: LIAR!
Me: I say it will be $750
Hubs: I say $630
Costco cashier: That’ll be $750.29
Me: Oh ya! I am a Costco genius! Woop woop!
Hubs: Yes, let’s celebrate paying the HIGHER amount
Lmao 😁
