The rules of the universe clearly state – to find the cup of coffee you were drinking, you must first pour yourself a new cup of coffee.
The rules of the universe clearly state – to find the cup of coffee you were drinking, you must first pour yourself a new cup of coffee.
Amazon Review: Ghost costume
⭐☆☆☆☆
Do Not RecommendPoorly constructed sheet blew away when industrial fan was turned on. I would have gotten away with it if it weren’t for those meddling kids.
Used ACME paint on an accent wall and now there’s a highway running through my living room.
6 yo son: Who would win a fight between a hippo and a lion?
Me: I dunno, maybe the hippo because he’s big and can stomp?
6: Wrong, the lion has a knife.
I had to ban two of my kids from being in the same room together.
Somehow, they still caused problems, so I sent them to different floors of the house.
Then I made one go outside and one stay inside.
For the next step, I’ll have to banish them both to different states.
“I love potatoes in my mouth!!”
Ok, yes kid, we all do but you gotta be way more chill about it
When I was a kid I never understood why my aunt had a cartoon sunflower on her sliding glass door until the day she took it off and I broke my nose
You’ve gotta love the fact someone’s taken the time to do this
Google maps is like, “in 8.4 miles, stay on the road you’re on.”
Yep. Didn’t think about how much lemon jello shots would look like urine samples.
seems the leprechauns have supply chain issues just like everybody else
You ever walk behind someone and you haven’t seen their face yet but you just KNOW they have a mustache
The revolution will be televised, but interrupted by a live breaking story about a new panda at the zoo.
What fresh Hell is this?!?
