*looks at recipe prep time: 10 minutes*
*two hours later*
Me: LIAR!
Me: I say it will be $750
Hubs: I say $630
Costco cashier: That’ll be $750.29
Me: Oh ya! I am a Costco genius! Woop woop!
Hubs: Yes, let’s celebrate paying the HIGHER amount
Lmao 😁
why is the debate at night time. let’s get this thing started at 4pm. i don’t need to get riled up so close to bedtime.
panic blowing on hot n ready pizza while running from heat seeking missile.
So sorry
I beg you to euthanise me
That’s someone else’s problem.
-me, putting back a pen that wouldn’t write
Bear knowledge
i too will be having a baby outside of dave grohl’s marriage. you don’t see me making it a whole thing
Passed by an electrician’s truck that said “No job, too small” with the comma… sorry little buddy 🥺
Personal trainer: Your workout isn’t over until you’re totally exhausted
Me: (winded from carrying my duffel bag in from the car) See you tomorrow then
No flush
