sure sex is great for your memory but have you guys ever had sex? i heard it’s great for your memory.
I’m not climbing a hill if I’m dying. That sounds terrible. I’ll die on this chair. Drinking orange Fanta.
it’s so important to spend hours reading various product reviews across multiple sites before saying “yeah fuck it this one” and buying whatever you happen to be looking at around 2 am
A guy at work spent the morning with his fly down.
We won’t mention names because that won’t solve anything and I already feel stupid enough.
Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?
wife is going to Sarajevo for work and my father in law was like “be careful, that is not a safe country, archduke Franz Ferdinand was shot there”
Frankenstein?
If I was a boss I would treat my goons right. They would know love. “You got it, boss” will be met with “Stay safe out there, boys. You’re my pride and joy”
toast can’t talk how do you know it’s french
Bro, you’re not allowed to have your tongue drop out of your mouth and form a stair case when you see my wife anymore
A big dipper? in this astronomy?
Twitter is a great place to befriend people who you’d never let in your house.
