they should invent a customer service center that isnt currently experiencing higher than normal call volume
“bury me loose” will never ever be bested 😭
tried to buy two florentine cookies and the guy at Canter’s was like “better make it 6 actually” and I was like “ok”
As a kid I wasn’t allowed to dress up and go trick or treating. So as an adult I enjoy it even more, and wish there were more satanic holidays.
This is the greatest and I won’t hear otherwise.
Archaeologists now believe our ancestors simply hated dusting
Yesterday my friend quit her job while dressed as Ellen Ripley. Then a manager had to stop and discuss a counter offer with HR while dressed as an emu. I love Halloween so much
look bro it’s not gay, i just wanna sleep nestled into your arm because it allows me to angle my head at the perfect 37 degree angle that relieves my nasal congestion
is getting good sleep gay now
is it homosexual to be alert in normal daylight hours
Nothing, just needed to stretch my legs.
So, who do I speak to about swapping out my nervous system for a chiller one?
This Halloween take a moment to remember the time Scott Kelly smuggled a gorilla suit to the ISS to scare the shit out of his fellow astronauts.
My mail carrier dressed up as a dog with a postman biting his leg is the best thing I’ve seen today.
