Best thing about staying in an Airbnb is trying to see what’s in that one locked closet.
If I was a marriage counselor, I would make the couple each use ANY dating app for 2 minutes.
“AI is future of art, music, and writing!”
The future:
I could murder a cheese sandwich. I’m not hungry. I just think I’d be capable of that.
Working with older people is annoying sometimes. Sir, your lunch at my age was Gin. Why you hassling me about adding salad dressing?!
i set my alarms extra early to make sure i have enough time to lay in bed and be angry about having to wake up
I need to know what happened here in 1620.
friend: i really need your advice
me finishing a bottle of wine while stalking all the girls my ex follows on IG: yes of course, you’ve come to the right person
Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow
BREAKING NEWS ~ Janet on Facebook is having chicken salad for dinner tonight.
My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.
If you ban teenagers from social media who are our hardworking podcasters going to dm?
Told the assistant at the eye doctor’s I thought my eyes got worse, but they haven’t. My glasses were dirty.
edward cullen in class having to learn about the spanish influenza for the 57th time like it wasn’t the thing that killed him
