my sentiments exactly
Him: I need to see license, registration and proof of insurance.
Me reaching for purse: again?? Speed dating at a cop convention sucks.
[at grocery store]
me: no.
God: no.
brain: eat a coffee bean.
jesus, what did this guy do
[guy taking a bite of corn and then immediately taking a bite of hotdog] there has to be a better way
an hour into The Sound of Music “yes. this is what music sounds like.”
Please checkout my YouTube channel and learn how to quickly remodel your kitchen in only three years.
Netflix My bladder
🤝
Streaming on demand
no one ever comes back
there should be an olympic sport for pessimism, not that i could ever win
relax, they say, as if that’s even a real thing
I’m a multitasker, for example I can be a couch potato and a baked potato at the same time
After my third trip to the grocery store to buy ingredients for our ice cream maker it hit me — they sell ice cream at the grocery store.
Sorry I was gone for 3 years. I went on you-tube to watch to just one video.
marvel comics have peaked
