Babe, what’s wrong? You’ve hardly touched your Wallace and Gromelette.
OP deleted but I saved my stupid joke for posterity anyway
I’m bout to start telling people “land your plane” when they’re talking in circles..
Chickens only make one sound, because they can’t think outside the bawks.
😭😭😭😭
“your password is too weak” just wait until you see my impulse control
beat teen pregnancy and with the current dating market it looks like i might beat adult pregnancy too
I’ve decided to become a huge sellout and abandon my core values for cheap cash. Who want to buy my values?
…Anybody?
Hmmm… I thought this would be easier.
Blocked everyone who wouldn’t be invited to my funeral so if you see this, what dish are you bringing to the wake?
This water sounds like a sexually transmitted infection you get from a gentle breeze blowing up your shorts.
You can buy a family sized shawarma platter it’s okay they don’t even check
Am I high or is this air conditioner unit stargazing with her legs out the window right now
When the app is running smoothly, no one acknowledges the developers. But when it glitches for two seconds, suddenly we’re the most popular guys in the building.
