Finally got to tell Tilda Swinton that I named my car after her, a 2006 Subaru Forester. And she acted like I just gave her an Oscar: “A robust beast! Can take a beating! Great in water!” Bless you, you beautiful being. ❤️❤️❤️
Kay’s emergency department tape rule:
If a farmer shows up with electrical tape on something, it absolutely needs sutures.
If it’s duct tape, it needs surgery.
– That Spiderman actor just asked if he could borrow a strand of metal to tie a honey-making insect’s coffee cup to the back of his car.
– Tow bee mug wire?
– No, Tom Holland.
If anyone has any experience with anything or knows anything about something please let me know 🙏
This has to be a scam text but what’s the end goal here?
Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet
I don’t know what I was expecting but, it was not that 😁
Been fired from my job in the sewer. Twenty years down the drain.
i’m so sick of this guy
“omg you’re a paramedic! what’s the worst thing you’ve seen?” bro my paycheck
me in my 20s with my 60 year old back pain
*Hour 3 in the trampoline park*
My oldest has said “watch this” 212 times
My youngest is running wild in a pack of feral six-year-olds
A woman screams in the distance “Jaden, Jaxon”
There is still no bar
eating beef jerky and thinking that cow probably shoulda drank more water
who called it girl dinner and not the female graze.
I wish I loved anything as much as teenage baggers at the grocery store love treating my fruit like it was made of adamantium.