Turned the other cheek and found the tv remote.
I put the h in mysterious.
Do regular dogs see poilce dogs and think “oh shit it’s the cops let’s run.”
“After 30 years at my stepdad’s carpentry business I needed a change.”
Thoughts and prayers for my mom, she’s really struggling with my weight
if you’ve ever wanted to know what a violent mugging feels like, i’d highly recommend inviting my friends & their 2 toddlers over for dinner one night.
if you’ve ever wanted to know what a violent mugging feels like, i’d highly recommend inviting my friends & their 2 toddlers over for dinner one night.
if you’ve ever wanted to know what a violent mugging feels like, i’d highly recommend inviting my friends & their 2 toddlers over for dinner one night.
Turns out a cop hates a surprise hug
Parent drinking game: Anytime a kid drops something and doesn’t pick it up you dri…
aaaaand I’m drunk.
You can spend five minutes trying to fish the egg shell out of the pancake batter, or, and hear me out, you can leave it and tell your kids it’s good luck to get the pancake with the eggshell
Oh, you’re a rock fan? Name 3 rocks
[on a stakeout]
COP: did you bring your walkie talkie
ME: no but I do have a runny nosey
new career option?