New-to-school parent: I haven’t heard that — was it in one of the school emails?
Experienced parent: Oh I don’t know, don’t read those. Heard it from Becky whose neighbor’s sister-in-law works in the school office on Thursday mornings.
seems like H&M is expecting a rush on Victorian funerals
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The more things change, the more they stay the same.
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Why do my kids want to be in the bathroom with me? I don’t even want to be in the bathroom with me.
FINE, I WON’T.
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When finishing a job interview, make sure you are a memorable candidate by shaking their hand firmly and using your grasp to pull them in tightly for an optimal tango position
Not to barg, but I majored in illiteracy.
Prayers for my teen who has a long, uphill battle overcoming her mom hugging her at the bus stop.
Well, we made it 9 years, but it finally happened. Every parents’ nightmare. In the middle of the night our daughter caught us in the act, right there on the couch. Eating ice cream.
*shakes the internet like a magic 8-ball* What am I mad about today?
Wanna quit smoking? Wear boxing gloves. Can’t light them and you can beat people.
I’ll take 2 tacos and one jail marriage…
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We’ve all been there…
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Convertibles are great if you want to arrive at your destination looking like a startled wookiee.
Does your cat do that thing where he refuses to eat the stale bowl bikkies so you take the bowl up to the kitchen counter and shake it around a bit and then they think you’ve swapped it out for fresh bikkies and they happily crunch it up ehehehe what a tiny idiot