If you’re being pursued by an assailant on a space hopper, a tack is the best form of defence.
Mapping the Lickability of the Periodic Table
That contouring makeup doesn’t work on my belly.
Captain America taught me that I just need to take performance enhancing drugs to be loved by everyone
Why would I want a memory pillow? Sleep is where I go to forget.
I enjoy excess
*notices my doctor is listening*
but only in moderation
[abruptly stops speaking in tongues] Oh the exorcism is for ME?
🖕🏻👽
Fun Australian fact for you – An episode of the English show Peppa Pig has twice been pulled off air in Australia after being deemed inappropriate for Aussie children. The episode’s main message… “spiders can’t hurt you”
Day 2 of my writing tips. As the greatest writer of my generation, I love helping young up-and-coming writers how to succeed in the biz. Today’s lesson is all about how to write a great murder mystery 👍
