Snakes full of cheese instead of poison would certainly improve the atmosphere at this church.
Bread, a tale of tears
I had a loaf in my grocery cart when something heavy fell on it. At home, as I am removing it from the car I closed the trunk on it. Once I got it out of the trunk it immediately broke through its bag and fell to the driveway.
Incredibly it tasted amazing
My daughter and I decided to play Monopoly, and we’ve been arguing about the rules for the last hour.
I’m surviving this massive amount of “family time” by pretending they are mental patients and I’m their case manager.
Some people ask, what would Jesus do. I ask, will it frighten the squirrels?
Hear me out!
A Terms & Conditions, written entirely in emojis.
True story:
I once went on a date and for some reason started talking about dolphins mating. I never saw her again.
me: can we stop at olive garden
mom: we have family at home
Anonymously I asked kids (aged 6) to write new years resolutions. Here are some favorites…
“Eat more butter”
“Build a mud hut”
“Learn to drive”
“Try my hardest at everything but not maths”
“Make a new language”
“Invent Google”
I just saw my dad screenshot all by himself,they grow up so fast
Her: How does she always know we’re taking her to the vet?
Him: I don’t know. Keep looking.
What’s the purpose of hanging plants on your porch? Is it a warning to the other plants in the neighborhood that you’re not a house to be trifled with?
My husband wants to know why our microwave is suddenly filthy like the break room microwave back at his office. I only see one common denominator here.
Any time a child tries to guess my age.