When nothing is going as planned, but you’re used to it.
Tuesday
This nation more divided than ever.
I just saw a tweet in support of raisins.
You only pronounce the ugh in doughnut when it’s so, so, good. That’s why American doughnuts are spelled like donut.
I don’t know squat about bitcoin but with so many crypto experts following me, you’d think I had invented it.
how are we still getting a new year? we couldn’t even take care of the last one
embarrassed bc i’m walking down the sidewalk and a rat is just like walking next to@me and it looks like we’re together
If you don’t like giving advice just look sage & say one completely unrelated thing you know to be true & let the other person assume it’s a metaphor.
*eats a carrot*
*checks off new year’s resolution*
agenda 4 today:
•shower
•cheerios
•shower-cheerios?
•”hike”
•Photograph a mountain lion
•get mauled by 2nd (hiding) mountain loin
agenda 4 today:
•shower
•cheerios
•shower-cheerios?
•”hike”
•Photograph a mountain lion
•get mauled by 2nd (hiding) mountain loin
She’s carrying a torch for you because her flamethrower’s in the shop.
“Daddy, how do you get the snow off” my helpless six year old shouts as she’s outside in a snowsuit playing…in the snow…and it’s snowing
Vin Diesel eats two meals a day:
1) Breakfast
2) Breakfurious
If we go into lockdown again, can we just buy the sourdough this time?