establish dominance by “properly” rewrapping your in-laws’ gift to you
Thank goodness I have subtitles on, otherwise how would I know there is sinister cackling
when you swipe left on a guy and Bumble says “you’ve missed a potential match!” like yeah I know I did that on purpose
My dad just told the famous Christmas story from when I was in 1st grade and asked why anyone would put up a ” Leon” sign
I read the noel sign backwards going on a drive to my grandparents
If Die Hard is a Christmas movie, then a sleeveless vest is perfectly suitable attire for dinner with your mother, Sharon.
wild how someone lied about how they got pregnant 2000 years ago and now i have an air fryer
Everyone’s family
I’ve never been kidnapped and tortured but I have been forced to go to the store before Christmas and gotten stuck behind someone buying 25 gift cards.
All these gift wrapping videos going viral as if your kids aren’t going to rip into that shit like feral hyenas finding a half dead zebra during a drought.
I’m sorry for a lot of things but I’m not sorry I put googly eyes on your nativity scene
Why do New Yorkers constantly think New York is the only place that has things?
my boyfriend and i met in a new york city publishing office a few years ago, and this christmas, he’s taking me to his hometown to meet the family, where i will for sure find out that, as a brunette who is dedicated to her job, i’m actually the villain of this movie
Why are holiday dinners always so early. “Come over dinner is at 1 o’clock”
*pokes head out of dressing room*
uh yeah, i can’t find a single bottle of ranch in here
Sick of your relatives? Just start coughing, they’ll clear out in no time