What was a common name in the Middle Ages? I heard people named their kids Lance a lot
Sorry. Can’t. I live in a small town. You know what that’s like. *vague gesture* Super busy avoiding all men from a Big City who might have recently inherited a tree farm & are liable to stay here after being charmed into rediscovering the true meaning of Christmas.
How badly am I doing? I’m considering pretending to have a podcast so I can ask my internet crush to come on it
16th CENTURY KING: Fear not, for I have come
COURT JESTER: lol that’s what she spake
Them: “Dance like no one is watching.”
Me: *dances*
Them: “WTF is she doing? She knows we can see her, right?”
7: My teacher gave me a Christmas card but it’s cursed
Me: That… seems strange
7: That’s how they used to write in the olden days
“You will be visited by three spirits. The first two will be a waste of your time but the third one, holy shit…”
Yard reviews
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐
“Amazing milkshakes”⭐☆☆☆☆
“Too many boys”
yall want some gasoline milk
“I’m just gonna go”, she says, with her finger hovering over the red leave button
– my 5yo, two minutes into her first zoom class of the day
I can’t even tell you how much I would not enjoy this
[Wife sweeping up all the dog hair into one big pile and answers the phone]
30 seconds later…
Kid: Look mom fur angels
Quite possibly the best sign I have seen before the day ends 😂
I guess when I thought that I would catch up on tv shows while recovering from surgery I forgot that my kids still live here
To all the “cougars” out there, shame on you for not calling yourselves “Thundercats” shame. on. you.