One of my kid’s friends was talking about how he told his dad about a cool new group called Bon Jovi
No you didn’t, 9 year old lol
Found a mystery grape in my building today. Gonna ask it questions like a crystal ball.
i’m sure this is part of an ad campaign or whatever, but out of context i thought shaq was having a psychotic break
I’m old, but I’m not against new music. Have you guys heard of The Police? They’re awesome
The name Sir Mix-a-lot sounds like he would be better at baking than rapping
If you’re over 60, don’t shovel snow
the duality of man
putting a “Wellness Room” sign above the main exit at work.
Haircuts should be covered by healthcare
There’s something I really need to get off my chest tonight
Throws bra on the floor
I feel much better
Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.
8 year old: we’re learning about ancient Rome at school
me: awesome! I’ve actually been to the Colosseum
8 year old: did you watch the people fighting?
Chefs: you eat with your eyes first
Me, eating with my mouth: oh no
Emma is smarter than all of us.
