😭😭
bat life
Corn Dogs: Uninserted
I hate celery. 🤮🥴
Well, that’s one way to clear a train quickly.
So I ate some gummy bears.
Turns out they were my sisters “Happy” bears with 15mg each.
I ate exactly 37…
Pre- means before, and • post- means after. Using both at the same time would be preposterous.
look, a three-day weekend once a month is all i ask. the rest can be four-day weekends
born to say “are you fucking stupid” forced to say “wow i’ve never thought about it like that before”
Asked my coworker what’s wrong & he said “I’m tired of faking that I like you guys” & honestly? Mood.
I’m on a train and the driver just announced that he forgot to stop at St Albans and is very sorry to anyone that wanted to get off the train there, and that the next stop would be St Pancras. “That one’s entirely on me,” he added. 😬
asked where the oysters were from and the waitress said “the sea”. never change, atlanta
He said, “I like talking to you because we’re intellectual equals,” and Reader, it took everything I had to quietly nod.
I think I would make a good private detective. I have some vinyl records in the garage someplace and a crushing alcohol addiction.