These apps are getting out of control.
There I was, laying on a slab of rock in an ancient temple about to be sacrificed by a cult and they have the audacity to ask me to download their app and rate their sacrifice experience.
Why is it that everything in my fridge eventually goes to waist?
Save money by accidentally forgetting your wallet at home. Follow me for more financial tips and tricks.
“Preventative care” means something totally different during parenthood. {moves glass of orange juice away from edge of table}
inside everyone there are 2 wolves, one trying to ruin a pig’s house and one pretending to be your grandma.
Apparently they check bags at the movies now tell me why I admitted to all my snacks talmbout some “Ok wait, i can explain, it’s just cheetos and wine” and the cop was confused as hell assuring me “Ma’am we are searching for weapons”
Saying “sounds good to me” in a meeting then quickly realising a lot more was expected from you.
how much would they have to pay you to be the model for this article
spiders in your apartment after the landlord paints over them
We gave my child a wallet with a single dollar bill to play with. She now has three dollars. I don’t know where the other two came from. Help.
D was probably like “lmao ok” when they named the alphabet the ABCs
if I was a priest I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around
astonishing that every day people wake up and decide to have a go in the menswear guy replies. “I’m gonna put this guy in his place.” no you’re not. you’re a henchman breaking into John Wick’s home. you’ve made bad life choices
can someone please help me, i’m still at the fyre festival