As I suspected, someone has been adding soil to my garden.
The plot thickens.
[dinner party]
GUEST: it has come to my attention that one of us is a secret time traveller.
ME: *tasting wine the waiter brought to the table* mmm, what year is this?
[everyone slowly turns their head]
I travel a lot for work and carry around a piece of paper in an envelope with a load of nonsense words written on it in the hope that, if I ever die suddenly, I will become the subject of internet conspiracy theories for years to come
My kids were arguing whether milk or water is better so I chimed in that actually conditioner is better because it makes the hair silky and smooth. Zero laughs. My best jokes are wasted on these guys.
A recipe for laughter
Which knight can find anything?
Sir Chengine.
After playing guitar all these years, I thought I’d give piano a try. But that’s not an easy instrument to pick up.
I attended a workshop yesterday on how to deal with election anxiety and we basically had to make a written plan and most people were like “stay off social media” and I said, “I won’t start fights in the comments”
At my last colonoscopy I had the doctor write a note to my wife stating that my head was NOT up there…
