Me [gasping]: Man, this stationary bike is harder than it looks.
Trainer: Now that you’re finally on it you should probably start pedaling.
I bought some Prevagen to improve memory, focus, and concentration. Now, where did I put it… I just had it a minute ago… Anyway, what was I saying?
Apparently you’re not supposed to announce that there’s been a death in the family every time you kill a houseplant
legos are too expensive nowadays. They should go back to costing as much as they did when my parents paid for them
I’m in an aspiring artist Facebook group, and everyone shares paintings they’ve done of their kids but not usually the reference photos. Which is great, but I can’t tell if the kid’s just ugly or if the painter needs more practice.
I love it
Are people born with photographic memories or do they take time to develop ??
I hate elevators, they give me vertigo
I take many steps to avoid them
“Kids, it’s time to choose, more berries or a bed to sleep in?”
“MORE BERRIES!”
by practically any metric, ashley’s first day was going rather poorly
phew
🎶…we didn’t start the fire🎵
