he’s making a list
he’s checking it twice
he’s inserting bullet points
he’s moved a picture
shit undo undo
what the margin
trying to insert more bullet points
they’re now shifted left?
Santa Claus is struggling with Microsoft Word
Remember during Covid, if you had family over for Christmas the police would show up and make them go home?
Does anybody know if this service is still available?
Thanks in advance.
My neck of the woods. My leg of the desert. My bellybutton of the meadow.
if he doesn’t like your fruit puns you need to let that mango
Normalize saying “the end” when you want a conversation to be over
Suspect thinks you’re mad at them cause you used too much punctuation in your text message
Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.
Man these end times are taking forever
expecting to live rent-free in my mind? good luck being homeless
Me: I just want to swaddle you in a baby blanket and rock you to sleep.
Son: Can you just say bye to me like a normal mom?
Me: *grabs his head and rubs it like a crystal ball* the spirits say no.
Before you take surf lessons, you have to sign a waver.
Happy Friday the 13th! Slay the holidays 🛷🎄
They got Luigi out here like Hannibal Lecter, and the general public is still like, “WOULD”.
“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.
Ores being fire proof makes me think maybe the Oreo doomsday vault is real after all.