I don’t like people staring at me on a good day let alone when I’m naked in the Smithsonian with my mummy bandages removed.
oh youre into retro physical media and urban exploration? enjoy getting killed by a japanese ghost while im playing black ops 6 in my unhaunted house, idiot
when someone says they don’t like reading books, im like cool, you do you psycho
This feels like a whole lot of trolley problems for a country with hardly any public transportation
“WyD oN HallOwEeN?”
workin bro its a thursday
Happy Halloween !
Cartoon credit: Berger & Wyse
If we run out of candy, I’m passing out Taco Bell sauce packets. Don’t worry, they’re mild or I would’ve eaten them by now.
there should be a reverse halloween where ghosts and monsters dress up as people and knock on doors yelling “math or medicine!”
Instead of calling myself a babysitter, I wanted to mix it up and be original, so I referred to myself as a “kid watcher.”
Yeah, don’t ever do that.
Doctor answering his door: sorry kid I ordered 100 but they sent me a 1000
Trick or treating teen: ewwww a stool sample kit!?!
At the beginning of the week our boss told us to not talk this week because ownership was visiting which is insane but today I learned there was an office pool to see how long before I yapped and it was over $500 I’m reporting the winner to the IRS
Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
For if I die before I wake
I pray the third Paul Blart they make.
Heard a rival dad is planning to hand out king size candy bars for Halloween so now every trick or treater that comes to my house is getting a full rack of ribs.
October 31
