Papa Bear: this is the best porridge ever? What’s the secret ingredient?
Mama Bear: remember that whiny brat that kept complaining about the temperature?
I was called charming yesterday and I will not stand idly by for these bullshit accusations.
I could totally take Beethoven in a fight even if he wasn’t dead.
“you have to sleep when the baby sleeps” but that’s when i go through the baby’s phone ???
I hate hotel bath towels.
So thick and fluffy I can’t even close my suitcase!!
Three thousand years have passed. Mia’s son has merged with a sandworm and rules the wastes of Genovia as a god
Valuable child raising tip from the New York Times
💀💀
Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dogs listen.
Dogs don’t think ‘no’ is a suggestion.
me when I leave a friend on read: They get it. I’m overwhelmed. I isolate. I need a day to think. The kids keep me busy. I’ve got 7 appointments this week. They understand.
me when a friend leaves me on read: OMG THEY HATE MY GUTS
why neck hurt
weaknesses