I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together… what could you possibly be plotting… you can’t even get out of the open window
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with Preparation H.
My 7yo told me that her friend Michael said the S-word. When I asked which Michael she replied with, “not Michael Jordan.” Ah, okay, it must be the Michael from school.
he’s a little confused but he got the spirit
If the NSA is monitoring our texts we are so screwed.
Wow 🤣
Rare photo of two submarines racing
*dangling legs in the ocean*
🦈: is for me 👉👈🥺
God help the parent* who tries to put a new food on their child’s plate.
*my husband
pov you are seriously underestimating how big whales are
There’s a teenage boy on the phone in front of the hospital and I think his mom just had twins because he’s pacing and going “No bro no, a brother and a sister, bro, no, no, bro, the doctor reached in there and PULLED OUT ANOTHER ONE.”