Are you guys ready for tomorrow??? It’s gonna be a HUGE day. I hope you’re prepared. I love taco Tuesdays. Gonna eat so many.
Why do cannibals never eat rich kids?
Because they’re spoiled
every time i ask a guy where he got his sunglasses, their answer is like “15 years ago my friend found these on the ground and then he left them in my car. now we both own the sunglasses and we share them. this is my weekend with the sunglasses”
Dear kids, let me tell you a story about childhood disappointment.
“We need a machine that can count all these damn geigers.” – guy who invented the geiger counter
im a single issue voter and this is my issue
Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.
not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergasgusting rn
security at this bar said no outside food and I said this is my “emotional support wonton soup” and he said “what” and I got quiet but we’re inside now
