Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again
The Fashion Industry: No.
Me every time my old dentists office calls me to schedule an appointment not knowing I changed to a new dentist
Receptionist at the Dentist: What’s your availability six months from now?
Me: I don’t know my availability SIX MINUTES from now!
They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters.
I bet it would have sold millions.
the ADHD urge to use parenthesis in every sentence (because every thought comes with additional bonus content)
Well, about your cat… There’s good news and bad news…
I might give this a try 😏
👽
Bruh
You can tickle the penguins
And get them to laugh
You can just sing a song
To amuse the giraffes
Just a little soft-shoe
Will delight the woodchucks
But try as you might
You can’t
[single drop of rain falls on ground]
Person Who Knows the Word “Petrichor”: I love the smell of petrichor.
Ah, 50s…you just keep on giving.
