People talk about how nice Keanu Reeves is, but when I ran into him in the street he wasn’t nice at all. He was very insulting about my driving and refused to sign an autograph until I’d called him an ambulance.
How can you tell baby kangaroos apart when they’re all named Joey?
I hate when flies rub their disgusting little hands together… what could you possibly be plotting… you can’t even get out of the open window
My husband refused to get glasses. But that was before he brushed his teeth with Preparation H.
My 7yo told me that her friend Michael said the S-word. When I asked which Michael she replied with, “not Michael Jordan.” Ah, okay, it must be the Michael from school.
he’s a little confused but he got the spirit
If the NSA is monitoring our texts we are so screwed.
Wow 🤣
Rare photo of two submarines racing
*dangling legs in the ocean*
🦈: is for me 👉👈🥺
God help the parent* who tries to put a new food on their child’s plate.
*my husband
