Thinking about that one comedy anime gag that always seemed to show up in the 2000s, I never knew what that was called
A police lineup, but you have to recognize your dad’s sneeze.
“Can you put it all in an email?”
Translations:
1. I haven’t been listening
2. I have been listening and what you’re saying is important, but I simply won’t remember it all
3. I have been listening but you’re going on a bit and I’d like you to go away now
4. I want a…
capitalism is charging someone $200 after they die
jokingly asked my coworker why the flag outside our building was at half mast today and he completely seriously said “for James Earl Jones i think?”
I don’t remember if I took my pills, but I can’t check because I can’t remember where I put my glasses.
I used the label maker
“Okay Benjamin, now I need you to go outside, point your nose up at the sky, and slowly start turning around. I’ll yell when I get a good signal.”
When he said they’re giving migrants sex changes I nearly spit out my dog
I’d always wondered what happen to those guys!
So in Ohio if they say ‘it’s raining cats and dogs’ does that mean they’re having an all-you-can-eat buffet?
Telling my son he can’t stay home from school for no reason even though when I was his age I’d blow dry my forehead and tell my mom I had a fever.
