I asked my 6 year old if he wanted to try out again for the school play and he said no I think I’ll take a break from Hollywood.
see next tweet for some translations
I send people away….far…far…away (I’m a travel agent)
There should be a good 15 hours in between waking up and having to interact with people.
a New Yorker reject, for you
Would make a brilliant taxi driver
I tell the kids that if they ever get lost to just find an Amazon truck and follow it because there’s a pretty good chance it’s coming to our house.
Me: 🎶I don’t wanna work
I wanna bang on my drum all day
Every day when I get home from work
I feel so frustrated, the boss is a jerk
I get my sticks and go out to the shed
And I pound on that drum like it was the boss’s head
Because-🎶Boss: Reminder to mute yourselves, please
I’m taking a group of 9yos to the water park today. My wife said “just try not to lose any of em” if you’re wondering about her confidence in my parenting skills.
Anyway if anyone’s seen a boy in sponge bob swim trunks please let me know thanks.
Real 😅
i’m gonna allow it
