packed all my meds into one bottle for a trip and accidentally invented the best trail mix
What do you mean the band goes on at 9pm? That’s the middle of the night.
I like that he just laid there without moving like I might not notice the cookie he slid over to himself
My man let the intrusive thoughts win 😅
sign of the times 🖊
“This Tweet has been deleted.”
A thread 🧵
💀💀💀💀
Imagine if the scientists who made Covid combined m-pox with disease x and made X-Pox. The variants could be X-Pox 360, X-Pox One, and X-Pox Series X/S
I was eating sour haribo sweets at the movies one time and I rubbed my eyes and my mates have teased me for years about “crying” over a fucking Avengers movie
My 6yo was mad I wouldn’t get him the puppy popsicles
We don’t have a dog
