One thing I miss about the pandemic is getting to rip my mask off like I just botched an appendectomy.
No one told me that by encouraging my kid to play soccer I鈥檇 also be encouraging him to kick everything and anything he can possibly get his foot on regardless of time, space, location and roundness.
orange cat behavior
I forgot to turn my clocks back and omg you guys are not going to believe the stuff that happens in the next hour.
Godzilla represents a desire in all of us for our reputation to shift from being seen as a baddie to a good guy while changing our behaviour in no way, shape or form.
A hammock is a terrible place to give or receive bad news.
Statistics Magic: We interviewed 2000 people that have
played Russian Roulette 馃敨 before. All 100% of them survived the game.
馃挴Conclusion: Russian Roulette is completely safe to play!
馃幆 馃コ#stats
Don’t come back here with your bullshit.
Me, coming back with my bullshit:
Foolishly set my YouTube account up on the main house TV. Now she knows what I’m watching. Not a problem, but she also saw my own vids about restoring a land rover and how much its costing. Now I’m in trouble.
Schrodinger鈥檚 Douchebag: (noun) A guy who says offensive things and decides whether he鈥檚 kidding or not based on people鈥檚 reactions
Don鈥檛 cry because it鈥檚 over. Cry because you have an extra hour to think about it.
In honor of A REAL PAIN hitting theaters, one of my favorite Jesse Eisenberg anecdotes
guy who strips completely naked before starting a fight with the menswear guy