A very blasé attitude by the stoic root vegetable in the face of its imminent death…
FOOD HACK: If you are at a restaurant tell the server “I would like two beers and fries” and they will bring you an order of fries and also two beers. This works at most restaurants.
I didn’t think I had much in common with squirrels until I saw one risk his life for a crouton.
was in a meeting that ran over by about 20 minutes and the presenter was not even close to being finished
until a very exasperated nigerian colleague unmuted herself to announce loudly “i am very unhappy with you, barry”
hacker: i know your social security number
me: that makes one of us
Unpopular opinion
The moon is actually way more useful than the sun. Because the moon gives us light at night when it’s dark. The sun only gives us light during the day when it’s already bright.
keeping a picture of my bed in a locket around my neck and staring at it longingly on my lunch break
sure you can go to a dealership and buy a car but there’s nothing quite like the satisfaction of growing your own
Took my son fishing and as I was carefully baiting the hook he came up to me with a minnow he caught in a ziplock bag and said ‘daddy you’re trying too hard’.
The moment I learned I was going to have to hide my grapes from this kitty…
“Come on guys, we gotta go!”
“One more minute.”
“Brad was supposed to fill up yesterday.”
“Sorry guys, I forgot.”
“Goddamnit, Brad.”
“Um, guys?”
“What?”
“I don’t have my credit card.”
“GODDAMNIT, BRAD.”
This motivates me more than any other cute quote or motivation pics! study cause u ugly
#getstudying #college
