Thinking of getting into the mongering business, I just don’t know if I should do war, fear, or fish.
How are you?
“Yeah, not bad” <– normal person
“Yeah, pretty good actually” <– show off
Sister: Why do you wear winter colors in summer?
Me: I dress like my personality. Cold and dark.
I do believe someone didn’t understand what this system was designed to do.
As an actual “professional” screenwriter, the sheer ratio of jokes/second here is insane. This is an all-timer no question.
watching a murder doc and the main girl just said “i believe god put me in this prison for a reason” and im like well the reason is you murdered your husband
Talk to the patient about controlling their anger? There’s a bite taken out of my steering wheel I am the wrongest of candidates for this task
The United Steaks of America
Never skip the footnotes – it’s here you find out who made the author angry enough to write the article.
these articles are so helpful. the thing I’ve always found tricky about money is knowing how much I should have
I bet your first day as a bullfighter they start you off by fighting a really rare steak.
Everyone thinks they’re brave right up until a goose starts chasing them.
