Terminally online people getting ready to drop the VP pick in the group chat the second it’s announced.
You’re locked in a room with nothing but 88 keys, none of which unlock the door. How do you escape?
A piano has 88 keys! All you need to do is play a scale on the piano, then step on the scale and get a weigh.
Just found a WhatsApp message to my friends from 2014 when I was living near Central Park. Little did I know it was a Kennedy
my mom used to feed me soap as a reward for saying bad words
I hope this is the year my teen learns how to turn off a light when she leaves a room.
gonna be honest, yes the bear story is odd… but also, I find nothing more relatable than making things worse by oversharing.
This is hilarious
Breaking: Nate Silver Predicts That If the Election Were Held Today, It Would Most Likely Be Due to Some Kind of Serious Administrative Error
**shaking a magic 8-ball**
Me: Will my vision ever get better?
Coconut:
[me, a people pleaser]: “no doctor that’s okay, whatever type of blood you have is fine”
I’ve been experiencing nonstop targeted ads for Spanx, and Skims, and various other types of girdles, so which AI engineer woke up and chose violence today?
The wasps relocated from the grill to the patio umbrella. Someone needs to talk to them about their life choices but it’s not going to be me cause they can sting you over and over and My Girl you and then go on with their lives like nothing
