When your child makes a full inventory of their Halloween take so they can tell if they are being robbed by a family member.
but that was my emotional support daylight
bags with threatening auras
Thankfully, these political ads will be over soon, then we can move on to the civil war stage
After this very serious election let’s do one goofy one
Did you know that cows kill more people than sharks?
I’m surprised that cows kill any sharks at all.
Me: I’m sick. Do we have any ginger ale?
Wife: No, just ginger beer.
Me: Does it work the same?
Wife: I don’t know.[9 Moscow Mules later]
Me [on front lawn, naked except for a cowboy hat]: IT WERKS BETTAH
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this interaction always makes me laugh, no hard feelings 🙂
you’re not fooling anyone
In search of a lawyer who handles the most heinous of crimes. My 4yo woke me up at 5:30 this morning by sneezing in my face and then hopped away like a bunny.
They ALWAYS scream at you when it’s raining like it’s your fault😂
It’s that simple 👊🏻
“eat what’s in season” the health people said
Me:
