The manual for my motorized wheelchair says “Do not operate while tired. ” I haven’t moved in six years.
taylor swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals
My six year old has recently discovered the existence of “opposite day,” and in keeping with the theme let me just say I love it. It’s a lot of fun.
Welcome to middle age. You now take pictures of instructions so you can enlarge them.
😂😅😂
Might run for office so everyone can see how skinny I was back in college.
sometimes i miss this memes
this full container of cheese balls just rolled out of somebody’s truck onto the road
The party bus lobby must be so strong. You’re not allowed to ride in a car without a seatbelt, unless you’re drinking and dancing on a pole. What an incredible loophole.
meow wolf is doing a brand partnership with our local version of chipotle and they’ve got a tie-dye tortilla for burritos so I ordered it, why not. I haven’t stopped laughing since I unwrapped it because it looks like it’s covered in mold
Lazy? More like “selective participant” am I right?
need a SPY 2 where Melissa McCarthy and Jason Statham go undercover as Olympics breakdancers from a made-up country