You might just have to resign…
Take care of yourself, ladies
The idea that librarians spend all their time telling children to shush is an unflattering, outdated, and severe stereotype. We actually spend all our time telling children to stop running.
I was heating up some kimchi fried rice in the microwave when IT EXPLODED WITH A HUGE BOOM and I opened it up like WTF because there was rice and kimchi everywhere.
My wife: Maybe that was from North Korea.
they really wanted me dead for this
Me: Can you get the things you want to take to Manchester?
8yo: *Goes to her room and returns with seven books*
if i ever have to work at McDonald’s, i want to be the person who sits on the hamburgers.
“What is that the trees outside in the wind?”
– Me in bed, wondering what the sound of my dry crusty feet on my sheets is
A – absolute
D – disaster
U – usually
L – looking
T – tired
And now…a ‘joke’.
Why was the demon in hospital?
It was having its GHOULbladder removed…*coughs*
When you have to use a public restroom.
When do elections stop being the most important ones of our lifetime because I’ve been through like 5 of those