neighbors are automatically creepy because they’re strangers who know where you live
Suddenly there’s a toddler next to you. What does it want? You give it your business card.
I saw a woman dressed like this today and I knew I had to draw her
It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.
why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula
Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.
I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?
6 YEAR OLD: how hard do you have to punch someone in the butt to make it fall off?
Terminator: [arriving in 2024, current timeline] yikes, send me back
“playing devil’s advocate” should cause explosive diarrhea 1 out of every 5 times someone (your coworker) says it
An MIT psychologist has warned humans against falling in love with AI, saying it just pretends and does not really care about you. “Oh that’s just a problem with AI, is it?” asked an MIT psychologist’s ex-girlfriend.
Aren’t we all Mavis *sigh*
Urgh. Trying to buy a copy of Catch-22 online but the seller won’t post it until I’ve paid and I won’t pay until I’ve received it.
Big up the 12 yr old kid on my daughter’s school camping trip who has mistakenly got my number listed in her phone as my daughter’s number and so has been texting me from her tent at midnight and 2am going SO WHAT’S THE PLAN?