Lots of bills lately. I might have to sell a kidney. Haven’t decided whose yet.
Loan Officer: And the reason for the loan?
Me: I need printer ink.
Guys which shade of gery should I get
I keep screenshots the way my husband keeps old cords, stored neatly away until the day I might need them.
Is it wrong that I lied on my tinder profile about how many tusks I have?
oh you like nyc? name every rat
I’ve had some terrible ideas but never “chili restaurant in an airport” bad
Doctor: your body has run out of magnesium
Me: 0mg
I stopped a man on the street to give me directions and he politely asked ”you want to go somewhere?”. I have to admit I hesitated for a bit
dating apps never work for me because i need at least two years of friendship charged with weird sexual tension to even consider falling in love
this was very charming
There’s plenty of fish in the sea… For example, Christian:
