(Every historical tour)
Them: this site is amazing, look at the architecture
Me: Oh wow very cool
Them: Anyway so the atrocities committed on this site include genoci…
In Russia, the cold complains about you.
I’m not touch-starved, I’m just a little touch snacky. I could eat some touches
Going to look at the small picture for a while. Tired of seeing the big picture. Too much picture.
My colleague struggled to say “think before you speak” and kept saying “speak before you speak” and I had to physically remove myself so I wouldn’t speak before I speak.
What has three thumbs and wishes his mom did not participate in that medical study
half of twitter is horny, half is depressed and the other half don’t know how to do math
I have a PhD in minding my own business. I’m an uninterestedologist.
Costco workers just authorized a nationwide strike, which makes sense because collective action is basically just buying justice in bulk
I was feeling lonely so I bought some shares.
It’s nice to have some company
I stuck my head out the window and moo-ed at the cows, this date will soon be over.
Thank you for sharing that story with us, now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go boil my soul.
My father must be spinning in his grave, and not just because of that spinning device I had built into his coffin
I suck at flirting I’ll be like “is that so?”
When you’re riding with someone and they tell you about all the wrecks they’ve been in…