Eating Taco Bell shouldn’t count for calories because it’s not around long enough
Everybody loves that comfort food until you end up with that comfort body.
kinda fun if literal: earwigs
neighbors are automatically creepy because they’re strangers who know where you live
Suddenly there’s a toddler next to you. What does it want? You give it your business card.
I saw a woman dressed like this today and I knew I had to draw her
It was the becestershire of times, it was the worcestershire of times.
why’d they call it a fly swatter and not a splatula
Grant me the supernatural ability to change the things I cannot accept.
I kinda want a boyfriend but then where will I put my purse when I drive?
6 YEAR OLD: how hard do you have to punch someone in the butt to make it fall off?
Terminator: [arriving in 2024, current timeline] yikes, send me back
“playing devil’s advocate” should cause explosive diarrhea 1 out of every 5 times someone (your coworker) says it
An MIT psychologist has warned humans against falling in love with AI, saying it just pretends and does not really care about you. “Oh that’s just a problem with AI, is it?” asked an MIT psychologist’s ex-girlfriend.
Aren’t we all Mavis *sigh*
