Many serial killers are good people, deep down. They just have a hard time not methodically killing a number of people over an extended period
Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts
insane that you have to defend yourself at the end of the ph.d. why are you attacking me i’m so tired
Nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedPeople will remember:
-The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell.
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedPeople will remember:
– that one really embarrassing thing you did
– literally everyone still remembers & talks about it
– you’d think they forget but no lmao
– can’t believe you did that lol
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedPeople will remember:
– you were in the corner
– in the spotlight
– losing your religion
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedpeople will remember:
– that time I ate 30 pickles
– the rash I got looked like Alaska
– I am allergic to pickles
Interviewer: Where do you see yourself in 5 years?
Me: It’s a surprise
A Pun enters a room and kills 10 people…
Pun in, ten dead
hey just a psa for no reason in particular but if you get too close to those wacky inflatable tube guys on a rainy day they can and will wetly slap you in the face. in front of people you were hoping to impress
it definitely didn’t happen to me of course in case you thought th
Me: [Making an alarmingly bad decision after making a lot of good choices for a while] treat yourself
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedpeople will remember:
– that one time you tried to get in on the friend group’s riff and your joke bombed so hard that it changed the whole vibe
I’m going on a work trip for a few days — but my husband has just suspiciously bought himself 3 bunt cakes in various flavors and isn’t mentioning it at all.
chat, i am full of concern
nobody will remember:
– your salary
– how “busy you were”
– how many hours you workedpeople will remember:
– the one time you misspelled that word in the chat
– how badly you misspelled that word
– god you are so stupid they will literally never let you live that down