Hello 911? Yes my wife is forcing me to walk over to meet the neighbors.
(making small talk with a couple) so have you guys ever cheated on each other?
no, i mean. its great toast. i just didnt expect it to be french
i have feelings for you but you have to guess which ones
Someone filmed bats upside down and it looks like a goth nightclub
Best comet pics yet. 🤣 ☄️
I tried to walk like an Egyptian and now I need to see a Cairo practor.
Guessing they were Navy Seals in a past life
I stand by it
Follow me for more exotic Minnesota cuisine
I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.
we must combat the global scourge of underage baking
If we all club together we could raise enough money to buy Monday and have it destroyed.
Hermit crabs fact: They can be got rid of with a special shampoo but hermits are often too reclusive to visit the pharmacy.