jfc Caroline my wife almost saw this
My partner bought a CD player that we can plug into our car so we can play our CDs and the Amazon listing features the following images. 💀💀💀
One time, in a restaurant, a dude from a rival gang threw a steak at me, so I threw a lobster at him and we got into a huge surf and turf war.
Saying “3 twins” is wild.
honk shuah. sleep on that thang
Once again I find myself asking “How long can I stay in the bathroom before one of my employees realizes I’m gone?”
Most women need a little reassurance.
Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not.
Got kicked out of reincarnation club for yelling yolo
Welcome to Netflix. We have every movie but the one you actually want to watch.
My husband texted me from Costco to let me know there was a long line & I think he was looking for me to say “don’t worry about it, just come home” but instead I said “don’t forget the ice.”
Moving tip: don’t learn how to read
A comic by Dan Piraro
