i used the “😭” emoji in a work chat and the manager of a separate department got upset about it and said this to my boss about me
It’s been 5 years since they banned me from Yelp and I’m still mad about it. I did nothing wrong.
Im not joining no alternate twitter app not gon lie, if this gets taken down im starting a family
Thank you cards only ever thank people for nice things they’ve actually done. This excludes people who don’t like doing things. We need cards that thank people for bad things they HAVEN’T done
(HR hovering over my desk, glaring at my awesome fat 70s tie with a crisp double Windsor knot)
Me: omg now what
HR: shirts aren’t optional
When I was little I asked my dad if I was adopted.
Dad: LOL! Why in the world would we have chosen you?
I’ve laughed so hard 😭😭
“I’m a doomsday prepper” I say to the Costco cashier as she scans 3 pallets of vodka and Uncrustables.
I know which nation I like the best.
HIBERNATION.
Thank yewww.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.
Ad placement of the day
#ooh
I sometimes wonder how they decided what animals made the cut in the animal crackers.. who thought leaving out raccoons was a good call?