we should be able to doordash someone a snowball to the face. like tis the season biatch.
Go bears!
(I’m not watching football I just hate salmon)
I bet Wile E. Coyote went near suicidal when he discovered DoorDash after spending millions on delivery for ACME products.
It’s crazy I need a certificate to prove I was born when you can literally just look at me
My tenant and his wife got into a huge fight last week and filed for divorce. He said “I’m bringing her Christmas gift back” then proceeded to drag a WRAPPED mop out the door and now I want to know more about this fight.
Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.
At my funeral take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next
he’s making a list
he’s checking it twice
he’s inserting bullet points
he’s moved a picture
shit undo undo
what the margin
trying to insert more bullet points
they’re now shifted left?
Santa Claus is struggling with Microsoft Word
Remember during Covid, if you had family over for Christmas the police would show up and make them go home?
Does anybody know if this service is still available?
Thanks in advance.
My neck of the woods. My leg of the desert. My bellybutton of the meadow.
if he doesn’t like your fruit puns you need to let that mango
Normalize saying “the end” when you want a conversation to be over
Suspect thinks you’re mad at them cause you used too much punctuation in your text message
Petition to lower the retirement age. I’m tired now.
Man these end times are taking forever